The end of an era: 10 Valuable Life Lesson I Learned In My Twenties
October 1st will mark the end of a legacy. The end of a decade filled with laughter, confusion, heartache, heartbreak, new beginnings, weird beginnings and many more. My twenties.
In my twenties alone, I learned and gained a plethora of many life experiences and knowledge along the way. Are there things I should not have done or things I wish I knew about much earlier? Yes. But, as I progressed in each age I hit 20. 21. 22. 23 etc. I learned something new about myself. Whether that was how I could improve as a person or just how to go about living life.
Number 1: Know Your Worth.
This is an all-encompassing phrase. Know your worth in friendships, relationships, work, or anything else for that matter. People will try to literally and metaphorically “low-ball” you and if you’re ten steps ahead of that you’ll be able to smell bullsh*t from a mile away. When you know your worth you not only carry this aura about you that people can sense, but you don’t settle for what you inherently know you actually deserve. I feel as if this phrase is thrown around so much on social media but throughout my twenties I didn’t understand this concept until I actually experienced events that made me realize this. As a result of these experience, I did a lot of internal reflection of why this was happening. For example, if you have a standard of what a friendship should look like, stick to it. If you have realistic expectations of what a relationship should look like stick to it. And if you have a guideline of what your workplace environment should look like stick to it. Often times, we end up in situations that cause us to not know our worth because we don’t stick to it. Then we’re nosediving into the pavement and picking ourself up (stitches and all) on our own wishing we just stuck to our instinct.
Number 2: Don’t Try to Understand Everything.
If there’s anything most 20 year olds do is try to understand why xyz happened when an abc strategy was put in place. We spend so much time letting our mind be consumed with outcomes that we’ve developed in our head that we forget, hey not everything is meant to be understood. Some things (good and bad) happen in our life to get us closer to end game (our ultimate life goals). Sometimes when things don’t go the way we planned, it’s because someone else may have needed that specific thing more (i.e. the job) or it didn’t align with your lifetime aspirations in the long run (aka you dodged a missile). The two most common things I’ve seen this happen with are relationships and jobs. It’s ok if a job declines you reframe your mindset that something better is to come. Also, if you’re trying to wrap your head around why a relationship ends honestly, don’t waste your time. You’ll be creating false narratives in your mind. Enjoy the journey and realize a better match is headed your way.
Number 3: Be Open To a New Career Path.
I’m sure other millennials can relate to this but if anyone told me my career trajectory would look like what it does now I probably would’ve fainted. Think about what your canned response for what you said you wanted to be when you “grew up.” Fast forward to the age of 18, then, 23 and so on and so forth. I originally wanted to be a supermodel and grace the cover of international magazines (it’s low-key still a dream of mine), then I said I wanted to become a fashion designer, then I said nevermind, I want to be a psychiatrist, then an archeologist and so on and so forth. Long story short, I ultimately ended up in the healthcare industry then recently transitioned into the tech industry (i’m a natural geek, don’t let the modeling fool you). But you get my point, you really never truly know your career path. You might develop new interests, but moral of the story is to expand your horizon on the career opportunities available to you.
Number 4: Just Do It, Love.
Are you a planner or do you find yourself lounging around saying you’re going to accomplish something but don’t put some “umph” in your step? It’s ok, to chose the former or the ladder but the point i’m trying to make is honestly, (said every Nike marketing employee) please, just do it. Sometimes you may overly plan or be overly lazy but often times the only thing in life that’s holding us back is ourselves. In many ways it can be our mindset, our lack of drive and willingness to get sh*t done. Life’s too short to not do what your heart is TELLING you to do. And hey, if it doesn’t work out at least you don’t have that regret angel lingering on your shoulder telling you “I told you so.”
Number 5: Enjoy Dating.
Do you ever have an idea of what your partner should look like? Do you overly romanticize it and it turns out to be nothing like you envisioned it would be? Welcome to dating. All jokes aside, if you have the emotional maturity and mental capacity to do so date around. What I mean by this is go on dates, without the pressure of romanticizing the person who you’ve only known for maybe an hour or two. You never know, some of those dates could turn into a friendship, business partner or boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever you chose to label it. I say this because many of us (singles) spend much of our twenties stressing ourselves out about first dates and dating in general when in reality, the best match is someone who you literally can be your wholehearted self with, the conversion flows and nothing feels forced. So a piece of advice, if you’re not feeling that with the person or people you are dating eh, it probably won’t work out in the long run.
Number 6: Journal Your Thoughts.
Journaling has been proven to not only improve your mental health but also allow you to mentally let go of things that may be burdening you or document great things that have happened along the way. It allows you to reflect on the success you have had, the road bumps you’ve hit or just how happy grabbing a cup of coffee made you feel in the morning. In terms of reflection, it allows you to see your growth in such a beautiful way. Journal and document as many moments as you can. I promise, you won’t regret it.
Number 7: The Only Person Getting In the Way of Your Success Is You.
Competition? With someone else? Let go of that dated mindset. Success is what you make it. Nowadays, social media platforms sometimes cause for many to feel as if we are delayed on success or not doing as much as we could be in life. As many before have said before me, keep in mind 1.) everyone has their own season to shine 2.) you never know the amount of effort it took for someone to achieve that moment of success and 3.) Envy actually is counterproductive and partly inhibits your blessings from coming to surface. We are our biggest critic. We are also our biggest competition as well. Realizing the aforementioned statements in your twenties can eliminate a lot of unnecessary stressors in your life.
Number 8: Unplug from Social Media.
Most of us, grew up in an era where social media was a huge aspect and continues to be a big part of our lives. With so much noise and misinformation on social media I reflect on my twenties and wish there were some days maybe even months that I unplugged from the social media. Take breaks and don’t feel as if you need to document every waking minute of your life. Studies show you actually remember events more that you’re not documenting. Learn to live in the moment.
Number 9: Not Every Situation Deserves a Reaction.
Throughout your twenties, there will be numerous situations that will test you. You ultimately have the power in deciding how you’ll react to this situations when they’re presented to you. Learn that every event doesn’t need a reaction. If you do decide to react, make sure you’re reacting in an emotionally intelligent way. People make mistakes but being the bigger person actually makes people respect you more in the long run. They’ll always reflect back to how you handled an event when faced with adversary.
Number 10: Live In the Moment.
This is probably one of the most important tips that I have for those in their 20s. We’re constantly facing sensory overload with digital technology, FOMO and other aspects of our 20s. Sometimes, as a result of this we tend to constantly plan our days, months and sometimes even years out without actually living in the moment. Embrace the good days, embrace the bad but learn to live in the moment. It makes for the best memories.
-The Lone Ranger
